Zoe wanted to start the new year with new devotional books, so we picked up two. One of these we are reading after dinner. It is Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids. Mark and I would like to rename it: Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids to Read Aloud while Their Parents Cry. We are obviously not far into the book, but each devotional has hit home. Yesterday it was about being patient with God’s timing.
I tried to keep reminding myself of that today as I received my new chemotherapy, Halaven. Halaven will likely give me more fatigue and nausea and maybe some more hair loss. However, Halaven also gives me hope that the fluid production in my lungs will slow and that I’ll be able to be done with it once and for all with a pleuradesis (sp?) procedure. I am still producing over a liter a day of nutrient-leeching fluid and blood. My mornings are the worst as I try to make up for the fluid lost in the night. I must force myself to eat and drink. Usually by late afternoon and evening I am up and about, if a bit drained. My parents stay with me throughout the day doing all that needs doing and more. They are shouldering our burden exceptionally. There aren’t words of gratitude that suffice.
And if my earthly parents are doing this for us, what must my heavenly parent be doing? I imagine God is telling me to be patient and that things will happen in God’s time, not mine.
As I was settling into my chair for chemo today, I got a text from a former student. It said, “Praying for you today, Mrs. Turner. Remember God is in control.” I wonder if this was Jesus Calling again.