when in doubt, hire it out

So, I have lifted my head, literally and figuratively, from my sopping box of Kleenex and am unleashing my inner Mary Poppins to get the proverbial house in order.

Or rather, back yard.

The grim weather we’ve endured lately has culminated in what every urban dog owner would call – “prime turd-picking-up season.” With snow forecast this week and a freeze today, conditions were perfect this afternoon and the backyard was an exposed minefield.

Rather than aggravate my tender back with this loathsome overdue chore, I decided to hire it out. My employees? Zoe and her friends, Vera and Naomi.

Armed with bags on hands and bags for “deposits” they kept track of how many frozen turdlets they cleaned up with the fervor of an Easter egg hunt while mentally spending the $.10 they would be paid for each one. Naomi lost count several times, but they each filled three bags and I am out a grand total of $54.30. Look out Target toy aisle, they are armed and dangerous!

And if you can believe it, there are still more frozen doggy deposits out there waiting for the next hard-working kid. Care to come over? The pay is through the roof and it’s all coming out of Daisy’s college fund.

8 replies on “when in doubt, hire it out”

Oh pick me, pick me….AACCKKK. I do that here with two dogs but I have now gone on strike and left the popsquaw to manage.

Aunt Betty, Abbie and Ike, the time may have passed. For, lo, the snow has covered the minefield again. Such prime gathering season (in the words of the great Dr. Seuss) “just happened to happen and is not very likely to happen again.”

My childhood just flashed before my eyes. I, too, picked up dog poop. Not for pay, though. And it was summertime. And I didn’t have gloves. And I got worms. True story. Melissa

Dear Ms Wise,
You took advantage of good help, which is hard to find nowadays. We should have heeded your wise choice to “nip the poop in the bud.” But, alas, we didn’t. So, someone who recently grilled supper in the dark, unknowingly tracked in Stella’s stools all through the house. (As your Grandma Meyer would exclaim, “What a stinkeree!”) Same someone graciously engaged the carpet cleaner on his day off today. Looking forward to your next tutorial.

I used an ice-cream bucket and filled it 2x. My puppy is little and likes to drop off kids at the pool regularly, lol. All I can think is to send you virtual hugs and more hugs cuz I CAN’T get my hands on you in person. You are all that and a bag of chips, Tash!!!

PS, if I lived closer, and you offerred a coffee drink, I’d do it for free.

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